


The New Girl

by d2fmeasurement



Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-04
Updated: 2015-05-04
Packaged: 2018-03-29 00:35:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3875776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d2fmeasurement/pseuds/d2fmeasurement
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Playing off of the line in "The Lady", this fic shows Carla messing with Dinesh and Gilfoyle by showing them porn she made of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The New Girl

Dinesh and Gilfoyle had been hanging out with Carla all day. Dinesh felt slight butterflies just at the fact that it was the most time he’d spent with a woman in a very long time, but mostly he was just enjoying hanging out with her.

  
“Okay, I’ve got another Java Script I’ve been working on. Let me send it to you, hold on,” she said. A second later, both of their phones buzzed with an email.

  
They happily opened it and then both cringed.

  
“You made porn of us...together?” Dinesh asked. “That’s disgusting!”

  
“You guys are too easy to fuck with,” Carla said. “Neither of you noticed the attachment I sent you was a jpeg.”

  
“This is really good,” Gilfoyle said as he stared at it. “How long did this take you?”

  
“Most of yesterday,” she said casually. “Totally worth it. Most of that time was just trying to find porn I could use. There is not as much interracial gay porn featuring brown guys as you would expect and I for one am very offended. Plus, most male porn stars don’t have bodies that look like you guys, for obvious reasons.”

  
Dinesh glared. “Oh, you’re so concerned with accuracy? Gilfoyle’s cock is not that big.” When he realized Carla and Gilfoyle were both looking at him with raised eyebrows, he added, “I assume! It’s not, right?”

  
“Why do you ask? Would that be a dealbreaker for you?” Gilfoyle asked.

  
“Yeah, don’t be so shallow, Dinesh. I thought you loved Gilfoyle for his personality,” Carla said.

  
“This is a nightmare,” Dinesh said, glancing down at the porn again. He was having trouble looking away. He forced his eyes away and then told Carla, “You know, I would expect better from you than homophobic bullying. What are you, a 12-year-old boy playing World of Warcraft?”

  
“Yeah, I’m surprised at this bigoted side of you,” Gilfoyle said. “I mean, you’ve fucked a lady, right?”

  
“Yeah, but I’d never fuck Dinesh, that’s the embarrassing part, not that it’s gay,” Carla said.

  
Gilfoyle smiled at her affectionately and said, “That is very true.”

  
“Hey and it’s embarrassing to think about him being with you. You’re both utterly disgusting. I’m not playing favorites,” Carla said.

  
“You say that and yet you made me the bitch,” Gilfoyle said, looking at the porn again.

  
“Well, Dinesh wouldn’t be able to comment on your cock-size if I went with one where it’s inside of him,” Carla said. “But, fair is fair. You both seem like little bitches, that’s why I also made this one.” She hit send and their phones both buzzed again.

  
They resisted for a minute but then the morbid curiosity got to them and they opened the second image.

  
“Hey, this is also me getting fucked,” Gilfoyle said.

  
Carla grinned and said, “Yeah, I got you again. You can’t even have that small win.” She glanced down at the time and said, “Oh, I gotta go. I have a lot of work to do since I spent so much of yesterday looking through gay porn. This was fun. Later, guys.”

  
Dinesh and Gilfoyle sat there, not making eye contact.

  
After a minute, Gilfoyle says, “I know this is not how the Internet works but...I have a strong instinct to burn both of our phones.”


End file.
